In Waiting

I have conversations with single people all the time. Because I am one, and because I know what they are going through. The question “Why has God done this to me?” comes up quite a bit. “Does He love me?” and “Why doesn’t He listen or answer my prayers”?

I spoke to a person the other day who is in their 30’s and is in a lot of pain because she is still single. The Holy Spirit gave this to me to share with her, and I feel led to share with you.

God loves you, BUT you are not entitled to anything. Just because you suffer for Christ does not mean you deserve a husband or a wife. Everything God gives you is because of grace. If you think that because you are suffering you are entitled to something or have earned it, you have a works based faith. Works do not constitute salvation or blessing. God gives and takes away by His will alone. Even though it may seem that the whole world has passed you by, and you are being faithful to God, that does not mean He has to give you what you think you deserve. This attitude is the quickest way into wandering through the wilderness like the Israelites.

Also, you have to look in the mirror. It may not be God, it may be YOU. You may have too high a view of self which makes you chase after something that is honestly unobtainable. You have to have a right view of self to be able to see a potential mate. If it is too high, then you are looking for someone you can not have and are overlooking potential candidates. This is applicable in both men and women.

Overall there is a spirit of entitlement in our generation. This spirit is not something God gives generously to. Nothing is more ugly than a spoiled brat who thinks they deserve something. And our spoiled, over nurtured generation is bringing our physical attitude into the spiritual. This is opposite to what we are called to be in the Bible. We are called to be ‘poor in spirit’. That is someone who has a broken and contrite spirit before the Lord, and is thankful with what He gives them.

If someone is physically poor they are generally (maybe not in America) thankful for when they receive something. When someone is spiritually ‘poor’ they have a spirit of thankfulness and gratitude, not self entitlement.

When you are poor in spirit you are thankful for what the Lord gives you, rather than being overly picky and choosy. This is not settling, this is being honest and humble.

If you were in so much ‘pain’ being single, then honestly you would just get married. But what you are saying is that you have not reached your pain threshold. A place to where you say, “I can’t take it anymore!”. Because of pornography and masturbation our generation can get by without a mate. Combine that with our idealism and you get a growing amount of depressed, lonely people. And yes, the pornography addiction applies to women as well.

If you ‘burn with passion’ as Paul said, or have a sexual need then you need to get married. You do not have the gift of singleness, you probably just have the gift of pickiness.

Overall, if you are seeking something from the Lord ask Him for brokenness and humility. It removes our self entitled attitude and quiets our soul. It turns the ugly spoiled brat into a thankful humble child of God. My prayer for myself, my friends, and the people I come in contact with is that we don’t bring our over fed physical attitude into our spiritual heart before the Lord. That we become truly thankful when He gives, and not just relieved when He ‘finally’ gives us what we have been working for.

Lay down your expectations, and then let the Word of God transform your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus. Then you will be able to see clearly what God has for you. And in the meantime, find peace in waiting.


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